So I finally decided to get hold of my life and stop letting others random or otherwise acts of rudeness and meanspiritedness affect me. I am the master of my own life and I choose to take command now!

I have decided to go back to school and hopefully I will recieve a letter in the mail next week telling me I am accepted. Also hopefully I can get this new job building sheds. Yes I shall be a manly man! Look at my moosels(moose- uls), Or as most of you say muscles. Geez be a party pooper why don't you.

I am alittle bummed that I couldn't go to Chaos Wars this year. Chaos Wars is an event for Belegarth which is a mideval fighting group(we beat each other up with foam weapons. My short dictionary version of it.) We spend a week up in Idaho in the sun. during the day we fight or sit around telling stories, and at night we have lots of booze, bellydancing, and fire blowing, which are all amazing. Unfortunatly I am poor and have no moneys to go. Le Cry alot. :sad face:

The night my only foe I stay awake till dawn afraid of the time I must sleep and the dreams that take me. I wont share with you, and for that I am not sorry. No one should have to feel the nightmares that I deal with.

Somedays in between the bad are the lovely good dreams that I have had. My dream such a vivid display of colors and light and my own true love the man who never has left me. Who takes me as I am because he knows every inch of my soul. My Love, My Heart.

The room so full of lively people
each with a story to tell
yet i am afraid and sit alone
in my corner comfortable with the familiar
where out of the darkness he takes my hand
and pulls me from my chair
He swings me around the dance floor
and a wonderous sound escapes my lips
a lost sound forbidden and taboo
Laughing and grining and finally full of life
I bow to my partner my friend
the one who is always by my side
I never did deserve him
his saphire eyes twinkling in the night
to mirror my own joy
as he pulled me close
the answering grin softened
his lips but a breath from mine
the kiss showed the dedication of thousands of years
i know i am not worthy to hold his love
I love him still with each beat of my heart
even now his warmth comes back to me
I feel the sweet breath and arms of peace
He is with me my own best friend
My destiny, my heart, my soul
I love you till the day we end.
Alix Kayan
07-16-2009

So until I have another random spurt of specialness, good dreams to you all and may your love find you.